Creativity does not come with an “Off” switch. It doesn't matter where you live, who you surround yourself with, or what you do to pay the bills. If you're a creative person, you will always have an innate need to express yourself in artistic ways. For those who love stability, however, such a need can be a burden. I mean, how many of us can really make a living doing artsy fartsy stuff?
Then again, if you enjoy painting or writing or taking photos, does it really matter if you make money off that need? I don't think so. Again, that sort of expression and passion is a part of you that you can't suppress or ignore. If you love to write, the pen you use is a part of you. If you love to paint, the canvas is an extension of you. If you love to take photos, the camera is what you truly see with. Money, meanwhile, is just a reward, not an incentive.
Since moving
to LA in 2001, I've had seven day jobs in my endless struggle to
balance stability with my passion to write and make movies. At the
lowest point, I found myself sitting at a film producer's property in
West Hollywood cleaning human shit out of the living room carpet due
to a pipe bursting underground. I vowed two things from that point
on: (1) I would never be an assistant to anybody again, and (2) I was
going to make a movie no matter what. I started a script with my
co-writer Pyung Kim not long after, and throughout all the day jobs I
had since, I never gave up, and never stopped working on it.
I did not move
away from my family in Hawaii to clean someone else's shit in LA.
I know this
story sounds like everybody's story in Hollywood, but I've always
wanted to know the true difference between those who made it and
those who gave up. I think I know what it is now. It dawned on me
while working at an internet company in El Segundo. It wasn't as
awful a job as cleaning human feces, but it was probably just as
dehumanizing. I remember sitting in the tiny, windowless room they
put me in, staring at a blank Excel spreadsheet in despair.
And suddenly,
I had a thought: “Let's do this already.”
Call it a
moment of extreme clarity or gross irresponsibility, but I instantly
stopped caring about stability. I also stopped caring about
criticism and how the rest of the world perceived me. Yes, I've
definitely spewed my fair share of venom at some filmmakers over the
years, but you know what? At least they have something to criticize!
What do I have? Just a bunch of Excel spreadsheets.
Hell, to quote
a friend, Snooki has written more books than I! I'm not even a
novelist, but that pisses me off!
So, with a
new attitude in 2010, we rented a camera and shot a trailer for my
film, I Hate You. We then spent the next year editing it and
finalizing the script. And, less than 2 weeks ago, we put the project on Kickstarter to establish a production budget. It's all or
nothing; if we don't meet our $15,000 goal, we get NOTHING. But, I'd
get nothing if I didn't put myself out there anyway.
Long story short, we're just doing it. Enough with the waiting and endless discussions about producing the movie. The only way to make things happen is to simply do what you want and need to do.
In the battle
between creativity and stability, creativity will always win with me.
If you'd like to be part of that victory and support our project, please pledge in our campaign by clicking here. Every dollar helps.
Again, let's
do this already!
